


Candy Sweet

by Origami_Breath



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff, M/M, Monster of the Week, Succubus
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-24
Updated: 2017-09-24
Packaged: 2019-01-04 16:19:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,686
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12172425
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Origami_Breath/pseuds/Origami_Breath
Summary: A succubus wants to full on put-a-ring-on-it¹, and Stiles is having none of that².¹ Derek² Succubus putting-a-ring-on-it





	Candy Sweet

Stiles was 100% ready to do absolutely nothing but binge Netflix and eat his weight in candy, as per tradition in the Stilinski household ever since Stiles found out walking on the streets with monsters was in no way as much fun as it used to be.

Boy oh boy, if only 8 year old Stiles could see him now.

However, instead of his perfectly orchestrated Halloween plans, Stiles is called to an emergency pack meeting. On Halloween. It’s safe to say he was expecting the worst of the worst. Some Scooby-Doo monster gang mashup where every villain comes alive and targets them. Or maybe even ghosts. They haven’t dealt with ghosts yet, he figures now is a good of a time than any.

Turns out the local succubus has decided that Derek would make the perfect husband. And, according to Derek, all he had to do was hold the door open for her when he was exiting the supermarket for last minute candy shopping. Stiles doesn’t know what it says about the male species that all it takes is a simple door stopper for a Succubus to lose her marbles.

Not that it matters because  _succubus_.

He’s not sure if he’s relieved or disappointed that the Halloween supernatural special in their lives is more on the sexy scary side than the glorified gory gamble.

Point is, Stiles doesn’t have time to contemplate the sexy deadly side of this or his failing gender. What he does kind of want to do is shove it in that succubus hag’s face that Derek holds doors open for  _everybody_  and that she should take a step back away from putting a ring on it. Besides, Stiles already called dibs. Not out loud because he’s not entirely sure what kind of consequences would follow, but the idea is all the same. 

“So, what? She’s trying to woo your socks off. Say no thank you and be done with it.” Is Stiles’ overall contribution. Along with some intense staring because he had to make sure that Derek was still Derek. The situation seemed a little less urgent than he had initially thought and he’d kick himself forever if he found out that Derek was under some succubus influence.

“In what circumstance does a Succubus take ‘no’ for an answer?” Lydia says, throwing Stiles a look that suggests she’s highly disappointed in his advice. He barely scrapes together enough dignity to not hide behind Scott in shame.

“Or more accurately, in what circumstance is a Succubus ever told ‘no’?” Kira pipes in, looking strangely giddy despite the fact that her soulmate in leather was seconds away from being wedded off to a creature of seduction. Derek, for his part, looks appropriately betrayed.

“Well what if she thought you were taken? Like in love? Surely she’d understand that,” Scott suggests towards Derek, his arms wrapping around Kira as if that alone was a message on how love defeated all. And, well…Stiles has read enough fanfiction tropes to know where this situation was heading.

“You know what Scotty? You’re right, Derek needs a new beau that’ll make that succubus think twice!” Stiles says, then, snapping his fingers he continues, “And hey, you know who’s conveniently single and always happy to help? Me!” Lydia scoffs from the other side of the room, opening her mouth with, no doubt, an interjection that disproves Scott’s theory like nobodies business. Stiles beats her to it with aggressive finger pointing and a loud voice.

“She’s under the impression she can just take and that Derek’s interested in her. So if she finds out that Derek is otherwise engaged with my handsome devil self then she’ll maybe reconsider coming on so strong and instead strategize. If anything it’ll save us time.”

Lydia pauses, her immaculate eyebrows scrunching together in thought. Stiles pretends that he doesn’t sound desperate and turns towards Derek with the biggest grin he’s got. Derek looks very unamused.

“What are you doing.”

“What? Who? Me? I never do anything!”

The room is eerily silent and Stiles chances a glance around, noticing that Lydia looks thoroughly duped and not happy about it and Scott looks like he wants to give him a consoling back pat but won’t risk his arm.

He then looks to Derek who in turn looks…well, not entirely unhappy. Though not entirely happy either. Case in point he looks like Derek always looks and Stiles has to be careful about what he says next or this won’t go where he wants it. And by going the way he wants it he means he wants a jump start on his Derek Hale Seduction Plan and figures some forced, friendly cuddling might plant a suggestive seed in Derek’s head.

Stiles is willing to get any advantage he can get.

“I can be a convincing boyfriend.”

“I never said you wouldn’t.”

“Ah well…good. Because I’m good. A good boyfriend, that is. I’ll romance and PDA all over you so hard that the succubus won’t know what hit her. Just kidding, she’ll know it was a big smacking slap of love. That’s how good I am.”

“Right.”

“Bro.”

“What? I’m not hearing anything out of you!” And he honestly doesn’t want to. He is set on being Derek Hale’s fake boyfriend and eventually real boyfriend when they end up having to share their scents by sleeping in the same bed and then romantic accidental boners ensue and fake love will turn into real love that will make the succubus choke and die.

His plan defeats all plans.

Except Lydia is looking more and more pensive.

“I think pushing sexual tension to make a succubus jealous might only egg her on to the point that she’ll drain both of you on sight.”

“…I thought she wanted marriage?” Stiles offers tentatively, nervously glancing at Derek and hoping he doesn’t think Stiles is purposely trying to kill him because, yikes, what a terrible way to start a relationship.

“You’re right. She’ll drain  _you_  because you’re human and easy to discard. All this will do is paint a target on you.” 

“So…hook line and sinker then? I’ll be bait!”

Derek’s expression hasn’t changed saved for a slight dip in his eyebrows which Stiles translates to ‘I’m about to offer myself up for marriage if that means everyone is safe’.

Stiles tilts his head back and makes solid eye contact, hoping Derek takes it as ‘say something stupid and I’ll one up you’. Derek purses his lips and looks away broodingly.

There’s only a moment of blissful, contemplating silence before Derek speaks up with a solid “no”.

And in Derek speak that roughly translates to ‘no, this is too dangerous, let me deal with it’’. And since Stiles is fantastic at interpreting what ‘deal with it’ in Derek means that Derek will probably be gone for an undisclosed amount of time and then return with a ring on his finger and a succubus leeched on his arm.

Stiles happily calls him out on it in front of the pack, not bothering to hide his annoyance.

“What? You’re telling me you  _want_  2.5 kids, white picket fence with some.. some.. supernaturally superior succubus?”

“ _No_.” A.k.a ‘I’ll do what I think is right for the pack. I’m the Alpha’.

Stiles can’t help but roll his eyes and puffs out a deep breath. Typical Derek. Taking time to straighten out his posture and even daring a few steps closer, Stiles holds his hands out with his palms up, giving Derek his best consoling expression.

“Listen, listen, you listening?”

“You are loud.” He’ll let that slide, only because he knows Derek means ‘yes, go ahead master planner, I am at your mercy’.

“Well listen up! I have zero problemo with going on a hot date with Derek Hale, that’s you by the way,” Derek’s eyebrows go up to his hairline and Stiles deflects with a wave of his hand and continues, “only so I can go home to another hot date with Netflix and my own personal bowl of candy.”

Stiles looks to Lydia, knowing that if he has her to back him up the rest of the pack will be more inclined to accept Stiles’ words of wisdom. Lydia, however, is staring intensely back at Stiles and is clearly thinking of which way she wants to do this. Crush Stiles’ dreams and spend another night planning extensively for a strategy plan only for everything to inevitably fall apart last minute OR let Stiles have his 5 minutes of fun and go home to do whatever the fuck I want for the rest of the night.

“I suppose the fake relationship will help us draw the succubus out and find out how hostile she is,” Lydia says, inspecting her nails to avoid the eyes of the pack.

“But you said…” Kira starts quietly, tampering off when Lydia throws her a look.

“I know what I said, but what I don’t know is if the succubus is willing to start a pack war just for some subpar husband,” she cuts her look to Derek and smiles plainly, “no offense Derek.”

“Okay.”

Stiles rolls his eyes so hard he thinks he strains something.

“Well now that that’s settled you guys should leave so Derek and I can spend some quality time mingling our scents,” Stiles says, waggling his eyebrows and ushering everybody out with minimum complaints. In fact the only complaint he gets is Scott giving him a look and saying ‘bro’ in his most pitying voice. Stiles takes it with a grain of salt and gives him a firm shoulder pat and wink. For some reason that did not make Scott drop the kicked puppy look, but there’s only so much Stiles can do.

Once the loft is cleared of everybody he spins around to give Derek his best shit-eating grin. For a moment Derek actually smiles back. Stiles only realizes it’s at his own expense because the next thing Derek says is, “You know succubus’ don’t have the same olfactory senses as werewolves right?” Which, no. Stiles did not know. Why does Derek know?

“Um…”

“I don’t even think the succubus realized I was a wolf. The only thing a succubus actually needs to know is the energy a being possesses and how to manipulate it to the proper flavor.”

“So…we have to have sex?”

“No.”

“Oh.” The room goes quiet and Stiles rocks back and forth on the heels of his feet, trying to decipher what Derek is trying to put out there. But boy oh boy is he at a road block because Derek is a fucking wall right now. Derek smiles a little bit again, only a small twitch at the corner of his mouth.

“It’s very difficult to fake an energy, Stiles.” Which, yeah, considering Stiles doesn’t necessarily know how the whole ‘energy’ thing works he figures it’d be a little difficult to do anything in regards of that.

“So, like…we both get really horny and then leave the house together?” he tries, widening his eyes hopefully.

“No.”

Getting frustrated he throws his hands up and then waves them around for a good measure because  _seriously_.

“I don’t know what you’re trying to say Derek!”

“I’m saying a fake date isn’t going to fool a succubus, Stiles.” He really hopes he doesn’t look as disappointed as he feels. He also really hopes that Derek didn’t figure out his angle and just played along to make fun of Stiles in private. Though he guesses he should be grateful for the small favors that Derek didn’t do it in front of the whole pack.

“I, uh…” he starts then stumbles to a stop because for once he can’t think of something to say that will either save face or convince Derek when he knows next to nothing on succubus’. Turning away from Derek he pulls his phone out of his pocket and fumbles when he nearly drops it, already talking to diffuse the weird tension in the room. “I should call the pack and regroup for a different plan then? Yeah, that’s good. We can have Scott talk to Deaton about any immediate information on succubus that he can answer on the spot and then I’ll do some searching online and Lydia can–”

“Stiles.” Stiles closes his eyes and puts on a tight smile before whipping around a setting a sunny grin on instead. Derek does not look fooled and calmly reaches forward to pluck Stiles’ phone out of his hand. “A real date would fool a succubus,” he says, giving Stiles the Intense Eyebrows that means Stiles should take real weight in what Derek’s saying. Instead his brain fries and he stares dumbly back, mouth already moving before his brain catches up.

“Like blind dating? Set up an atmosphere with some stranger woman who can push off authentic arousal energy? Because, believe me, I can put off arousal energy just as well as the next guy and it might be even better because that way we aren’t pulling in some unwitting human in danger. Like, it doesn’t have to be weird or anything or uh?” Stiles pauses for a few breaths, takes in Derek’s incredulous expression and tries to regroup and redirect and well,  _geeze_ , he’s so stupid. “You probably meant  _you_  had to emit arousal energy to actually get the succubus to back off, didn’t you? Right, yeah, because, really? Who cares if somebody else is all lusty after you when you don’t reciprocate because it’s  _you_  she’s pawing after so I, uh, get it. Blind dating to somebody you’re actually attracted to. Yeah that’s…that’s probably…uh, better.” He winces and closes an eye to scrutinize Derek’s face which is tilted towards the ceiling and he’s mumbling something under his breath.

Fidgeting in place Stiles opens and closes his mouth several times, waiting Derek out while at the same time freaking the fuck out.

“Stiles.”

“Yup, yeah? Yes, I’m here.” Another heavy sigh from Derek.

“A fake date won’t fool a succubus.”

“Roger that, Alpha.”

“So  _we_  should…” Derek spends a moment just gesturing between the two of them before gaining traction again. “We should go on a real date.”

“Uh-huh, that’s what I–” Heat spreads across Stiles’ entire  _being_  and he can’t stop the small noise that’s pulled out of his very soul and Derek only gives him a pained look, his ears entirely red. “A real date?” Stiles ventures, clearing his throat and unable to meet Derek’s eyes because oh god he’s having a stroke. Or maybe he already had one and he’s dead. There’s no way Derek Hale is asking him out on a real date.

“Yes.”

“With me?”

“That’s the idea,” he replies calmly, but from the corner of his eye Stiles knows that Derek doesn’t look as embarrassed anymore. He looks more amused and has a sparkle in his ridiculous, stupid eyes. “Thought I’d make it easier and skip a few steps.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Stiles chokes out, pressing his lips together to prevent himself from smiling. He looks at Derek and Derek smiles again, reaching out to poke Stiles gently in the shoulder, like he’s too  _shy_  to actually make a big gesture move. Stiles can’t smother his giddiness. “You want to date me.”

“I’ll make you dinner,” Derek offers in lieu of answering and turns towards the kitchen. Stiles just grins after him stupidly because that sure did sound like a yes in Derek speak.

“What about the succubus?” Stiles calls out. Derek pops his head around the corner to give him a considering look, looking wholly unbothered by the impending doom of coerced marriage. Clearing his throat Stiles walks forward, thrilled from the tip of his head to his toes when Derek just  _watches_. “I know a great place we could make out in public in? Maybe buy a fake wedding ring at the closest Walmart? You know, really sell it.”

Derek’s answering smile and shy nod gives Stiles enough cavities that he doesn’t even mourn the loss of his candy bowl.


End file.
